just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
should my penis look like a turkey
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Randomize
