I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
