playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
