ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
