guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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