Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
