Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
