can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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