Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
