My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
