What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
