you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
