Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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