Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
