i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
