I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
