I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
