i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I could make wine with my vomit
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
