we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
