He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
