Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
