He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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