Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
