Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
