I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
