Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
