Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got inside last night via doggy door
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
