come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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