some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
