No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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