do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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