yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
