I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
