Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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