do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
