EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
operation have a gay friend backfired
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
