so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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