that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
