she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
