dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
