Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
bring money and cleavage
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
