you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
