i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you never un-have a 4some
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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