If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
