he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
