Do you still have your period?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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