No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
