Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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