Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
