Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
