she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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