I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
